and there you go with the mind games, you treacherous, sadistic little hussy.

I feel like I'm gonna drop real soon
My mind's hurting, I'm over the moon
Pulse is sagging, I'm losing pace
It's the way you feel and another way you taste
 
Rebel, rebel, I see you with a gun
If you gonna shoot, then I'm glad I'm the one
'cause it's the way you, hmm it's on the tip of my tongue
It's the way you chase and away I run
 
Bang bang bang bang
She points her finger at me
Pulls the trigger and I bleed
Now the argumental thing
Run baby as fast as you can 'cause you're not the man
Nah you wouldn't understand
I love the way she moves and plays
I want her dancing on my grave
 
Look past the trouble, now look past the gun
Pull me past, now pull me beyond
Watch you to the break of the day
My heart's a racing as I love the way
 
But if you need someone I'll give in
There's no need to pretend
My mamacita with her eyes looking at me
Like she never done wrong
Like you never done wrong
 
Bang bang bang bang
She points her finger at me
Pulls the trigger and I bleed
Now the argumental thing
Run baby as fast as you can 'cause you're not the man
But I just couldn't understand
I love the way she moves and plays
I want her dancing on my grave
 
Rebel rebel and a cold 45
Let's live the life, let's go out and jive
Let's leave town, let's leave town on the run
Go to california and burn in the sun
 
You gotta jive babe, come on and try babe
Drive it back and forth
You look so good I wouldn't lie
I need to hold you, come on and hold me
Oh I wouldn't mind if you the one and only baby
 
Keep it cool babe too cool for school babe
Jive it and a try it you don't have to make me buy it
You hurt my eyes babe give me a rise babe
Ever since the way you put the hurt I've been astray
 
Now bang bang bang babe you shot me dead babe
I love the way you play, I want you dancing on my grave
My mamacita, senorita na na na na na, na na na na na na na na
 
Shake it ah shake it ah, come on you gotta break it
Come on jive babe, come on and try babe
Drive it back and forth you look so good I wouldn't lie
I need to hold you come on and hold me
Oh I wouldn't mind if you the one and only baby
 
Keep it cool babe too cool for school babe
Jive it and a try it you don't have to make me buy it
You hurt my eyes babe give me a rise babe
Ever since the way you put the hurt I've been astray
Watcha I came to, since you are the one

bonjour, mon amies.
c'est mon anniversaire aujord'hui. (:
 
pshhhhh, i probably just spelled all of that wrong.
almost two years of french & i STILL can't spell. xD
anyway, yeah, it's my 16th birthday. (:
 
alright, song time now.
here's the list:
 
when i was your man - bruno mars
two fingers - jake bugg
dead wrong - hanni el khatib
you rascal you - hanni el khatib
first day of my life - bright eyes
lua - bight eyes
sex - the 1975
grandfather clocks - apple horse
harbour lights - a silent film
 
that's about it for right now. xD
i like to remember these things so that when i come back & look at this in a few months, i can be like OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT SONG LET ME GO LISTEN TO IT. xD

it's so weird to see that typed out.
it does NOT feel like my birthday is tomorrow, let alone that i'm turning 16.
like, this is crazy.
i wish i could still make sets, because maybe then i'd make a super majestic birthday set & publish it tomorrow, but... i suck at set making now, so. xD
anyway, it's not really a big deal that i'm turning 16 because nothing exciting is happening.
i mean, i'm not getting my license or a car or having an MTV worthy party or doing anything at all, really.
i literally am going to sit at my house tomorrow.
maybe i'll put on one of the many dresses i have that i've never worn & find my old disney crown that sings & sit around all day pretending to be a queen.
what i really want is for someone to sing me that song from spongebob.
somebody, anybody. please. that is my dream. xD
 
sat.
3/9/13
10:54 am

I know that it is freezing but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis; they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's west side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening; by the morning they'll be gone.
 
When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations
With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like shit.
 
And I know you have a heavy heart; I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won't exist.
 
You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
You just keep going to the bathroom always say you'll be right back
Well it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening, by the morning is such a drag.
 
I've got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train
If you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening, by the morning seems insane.
 
And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is
What's so simple in the moonlight, now is so complicated
What's so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight

I drink to remember, I smoke to forget
Some things to be proud of, some stuff to regret
Run down some dark alleys, in my own head
Something is changing, changing, changing
 
I go back to Clifton, to see my old friends
The best people I could ever have met
Skin up a fat one, hide from the Feds
Something is changing, changing, changing
 
So I kiss goodbye to every little ounce of pain
Light a cigarette and wish the world away
I got out, I got out, I'm alive but I'm here to stay
So I hold two fingers up to yesterday
Light a cigarette and smoke it all away
I got out, I got out, I'm alive but I'm here to stay
 
Is damn in the kitchen, drinking while lightning
He's with my momma, they're yelling and fighting
It's not the first time, praying for silence
Something is changing, changing, changing
 
So I kiss goodbye to every little ounce of pain
Light a cigarette and wish the world away
I got out, I got out, I'm alive but I'm here to stay
So I hold two fingers up to yesterday
Light a cigarette and smoke it all away
I got out, I got out, I'm alive but I'm here to stay
 
There's a story for every corner of this place
Running so hard you got out but your knees got grazed
I'm an old dog but I'll learn some new tricks yet
 
So I kiss goodbye to every little ounce of pain
Light a cigarette and wish the world away
I got out I got out I'm alive but I'm here to stay
So I hold two fingers up to yesterday
Light a cigarette and smoke it all away
I got out I got out I'm alive but I'm here to stay
 
Hey, hey it's fine
Hey, hey it's fine
Hey, hey it's fine
I left it behind

we had a "party" in french class today for mardi gras.
it wasn't very fun & there wasn't much food. xD
i did, however, watch the greatest video ever in all of history.
you should watch it to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NmGDZMy3G0
 
i'm sooooo bored.
i DO NOT want to write an essay that examines a book character's life "as both an individual and a martyr."
please shoot me in the face.
it was bad enough reading the book.
fahdkfjhkadjhkajahskj
plus i just don't know what to write.
this is all i have so far:
Patria Mirabal, the eldest of the Mirabal sisters, was of major importance to the revolution against Trujillo. More importantly, she was a loving mother, sister, and friend. She was very much like a mother figure to many of the characters throughout the story, and was even brave enough to let members of the revolution meet at her house and bury things in her backyard before she had even really committed to the revolution herself.
 
sighhh.
i just want to watch PLL & then sleep for like 80 hours.
but no.
 
anyway, i didn't get the baby in the king cake today, so i did not get to be the "queen" of our fete.
not that the person who got it did either.. but, you know. xD
the idea is there.
i don't even like king cake.
i just want the baby. xD
 
plus, someone in one of the other classes brought chicken wings?
i was like. xD
i came into french & i was like "smells like chicken wings in here." xDD
 
i'm really excited for valentine's day, because i think it'd be really really cool if someone anonymously bought me a singing valentine or some carnations or both.
yeah, that'd be great. xD
 
sjdhhhhkashfksdjhfkjas
i need to work on my paper, even though i really want to read or look through wanelo.
 
my my, where does the time go these days?
 
2/12/13
6:52 pm

i just need a set where i can easily save links i need to remember, rather than fill up my poor bookmark bar.
 
http://rookiemag.com/2013/02/haunted-by-you/
- ugh, love this story. (it's the one with the ghost and yeah.)
 
http://rookiemag.com/2013/02/wherever-with-you/
- cute friendship thing i can't even
 
http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/YelWal.shtml
- full short story of The Yellow Wall paper
 
http://www.scribd.com/doc/109094703/Eve-and-Adam-Katherine-Applegate#page=26
- full Eve and Adam book
 
http://www.scribd.com/doc/109900728/Courtney-Summers-Fall-for-Anything-Epub
- full Fall for Anything book (you never finished this, sheree.)
 
http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/8794.YA_Novels_of_2014#16115038
- that list of books that are coming out in 2014
 
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m56onohETq1qzdyemo4_250.gif
- that gif of josh bro-hugging logan lerman (why, sheree? xD)
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Atv2OFs6g
- flagging a ride by divine fits (that song you used to be obsessed with, but never learned the words to.)
 
my erasure poems:
http://8.12.36.246/erasures/erasures.php?poemid=4046
 
http://8.12.36.246/erasures/erasures.php?poemid=4045
 
http://8.12.36.246/erasures/erasures.php?poemid=4044
 
http://8.12.36.246/erasures/erasures.php?poemid=4050
(these suck, but i know you love to reread your work, sheree.)
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ek3eCbfqp0
- one of the many 50's songs you love.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-deBkirN8s
- french version of LOL **original
 
* more shall be added when the need arises.

Tasting the tears
That run down the gutter two teeth make
Tears in route
Running a groove in your cheek
 
Waterfalls leave smooth rocks
When the river dries up
You can determine where a river once was
Just by examining rocks
 
Your face never forgets a cry
Like trace remnants of acid in your spine
 
The erosion cries cause
Make whiskers prematurely sprout in men
And in women
Homogenize complexion
Diluting pigment
Until the whole face is washed with a slight mascara tint
 
Your face never forgets a cry
Like trace remnants of acid in your spine

Shadows settle on the place, that you left.
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness.
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.
 
And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong.
 
We are the reckless,
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we'll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there.
 
And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.
We're setting fire to our insides for fun.
Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home,
It was a flood that wrecked this home.
 
And you caused it,
And you caused it,
And you caused it
 
Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette,
A lifeless face that you'll soon forget,
My eyes are damp from the words you left,
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.
 
And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone.
Setting fire to our insides for fun,
To distract our hearts from ever missing them.
But I'm forever missing him.
 
And you caused it,
And you caused it,
And you caused it

reckless - san cisco
 
the air was cold today, but the hospital room was cozy.
 
1/02/13
7:38 pm